Traditions

1. You thought Christmas was cancelled when Arne Weise retired.
2. Seeing a young woman with lit candles stuck to her head no longer disturbs you.
3. You know what a “Julbock” is and don't find it strange that a goat brings you presents at Christmas.
4. You think that a Christmas without snow is a disaster.
5. You don't find it at all strange or unimaginative that the day after Christmas day is called "another day Christmas, and the day after Easter is called "Another day Easter"
6. You claim that Santa Claus is a Swedish phenomenon. (he’s not, folks…)
7. Your Christmas tree isn't quite right until you have at least one “Julbock” underneath it.
8. If you have young daughters, around October you start bothering them to join the local St Lucia parade.
9. You know you are from Sweden when you associate 3 pm on Christmas Eve with Donald Duck, and vice versa.
10. It is considered a sin to record Donald Duck on the video at Christmas.
11. You compare all other spiced wine to “glögg” and with a frown state the obvious superiority of the Swedish Christmas drink.
12. You dress up like a “stjärngosse” and don’t get why Non-Swedes think you are from the KKK and a black guy gets mad.
13. You don't mind waking up way too early during the first twenty four days of December in order to watch fifteen minutes of TV's annual Advent Calendar.
14. You couldn’t care less about the sixth of June and consider celebrating Midsummer as being as close to a proper national day as it will ever get.
15. During one day in June, you sing and dance around a giantic up-side down penis dressed in flowers and then proudly call it a Swedish tradition.
16. You've been forced to perform the "frog dance" skipping around a palm tree.
17. You find yourself trying to explain what Midsummer is actually all about, even though you don't quite remember it yourself.
18. You spend every Midsummer night in silence, looking for seven different types of flowers beneath seven different wooden fences, pissed drunk from too many “snaps”, desperately trying to get a clue as to why your love life is so fucked up.
19. You really want to attend the Nobel Prize Dinner.
20. You get pissed off when Norwegians claim that the Peace Prize is much more famous than the other Nobel Prizes.
21. You claim that you are not a royalist but actually do care what "she" will wear on the Nobel Prize dinner.
22. When you associate Thursday with pea soup and pancakes.
23. You think it's normal to get on the back of a truck or convertible car and drunkenly shout and sing for hours at passers-by just because you graduated from school.
24. You are attending a New Year's Party that suddenly takes a break when it is time to watch “Dinner for One” (Grevinnan och Betjänten).
25. You believe there are no "real" traditions in Sweden. (Oh, how wrong you are…)
26. You celebrate Easter and Christmas one day before most other countries do and have at more than one occasion utterly failed in explaining to Non-Swedes why this is the case.
27. You consider summer and Christmas needing to be greeted by singing.
28. You wake up with BIG hang-overs on the days after April 30th and December 13th.
29. You look forward all year for August when you get to gather your friends, put on silly paper hats, drink Vodka, sing and eat crayfish.
30. Easter means decorating some twigs in a vase with coloured feathers, eating herring and painted eggs.
31. You find it perfectly normal to dress up like a witch at Easter and knock on random neighbours doors in hope of getting some sweets.
32. You find the Easter bunny completely illogical.
33. You know that real Easter eggs are not made of chocolate; they're made of paper and filled with pick'n'mix (lösgodis).
34. You try to explain who “Näcken” is to Non-Swedes and they look at you funny.
35. You eat minimum ten buns with almond paste and whipped cream on “Fettisdagen” and claim that it just doesn't taste right if the lid isn't triangular.
36. As a student, you accept and even enjoy getting dressed in formal wear to go to a candle-lit three course dinner where you will alternately bang on your table and stand on your chair singing songs in praise of alcohol each and every time you attempt to raise your fork to your mouth.
37. Already at Easter you start planning what to do on Midsummer.

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