Top 10 ways to insult a Swede

Zlatan not from Sweden? He was born in Malmö, then he must be from Sweden, right?

He was born in Sweden, his parents are from Bosnia and Croatia.

How I respond to each,

1. I assume the person who made this up is either American, English (see question number four for the explanation why I think so). If so, congrats! You are mostly part Viking. The English are technically French Vikings (double insult). And most of the settlers (separatists) that came to America were English. Plus, the state of Delaware was originally a Swedish colony. So if you were to get rid of the vikings, you would have to get rid of yourself. But then again, the viking era is gone. So it is possible to argue that the Vikings are already gone, therefore, you couldn’t get rid of them.

2. Oh yeah, we don’t really have a military force. That is because we haven’t fought against other countries on full force in over centuries (I believe it is around 800 years). Can you say that about your country?

3. Straight up telling me that you have neither heard of Pippi, Ingmar Bergman, Björn Borg, or ABBA just tells me that you have indeed heard about them. If you have never heard of them, then how come you can formulate that question? That means that you would have to wait for one of these things to show up in a conversation. But if you really haven’t heard of ABBA, that says to me that you are not as culturally diverse as you should be.

4. The reason why I think that an American most likely have written this, is because a Swede and a portion of Europe knows that to a Swede, Norway isn’t that bad. If you had said Denmark, then your statement would be more true.

5. We would wonder why anyone would be stupid enough to try to buy something in Sweden with US dollars without have gotten money from the bank first. #common-sense

6. Yes, in public we can look emotionless which could be interpreted that we look sad. But most of the time we aren’t sad. So technically this isn’t an insult because people haven’t learned that different countries have different social rules. So I guess it is just proving that people needs to be more educated about social norms in other places.

7. Ikea according to some people are great, and others are bad. In Europe, Ikea is good. This is because it is cheap, but well made, and is usually practical. For god sakes, Germany has around forty Ikea’s. However, in the States (I live here in the states. I am an immigrant) it has a more negative connotation. Many complaints I hear is that it is difficult to put the pieces of the furniture together. Each furniture that you need to assemble that comes from Ikea has instructions on how to build it. Unless if you haven’t mastered reading, how to put boards together, and how to use a screw driver, or you just get easily confused, then your point is invalid. It might take some time and thinking, but you need to do that with most things, right?

8. Not knowing something, is not an insult. It just means that you could gain more knowledge. I don’t see where the insult would be. This guy named of Raoul Wallenberg helped a lot of Jews survive during WW2. What is your point?

9. I am not a sports fan, but we’ve won it before. Especially in the Girl’s soccer team. Before you make a statement like that, make sure that you research it in beforehand.

10. Zlatan Ibrahimovic was born in Malmö. This means that he was born a Swedish citizen. However, that is different from heritage. His parents were immigrants, but he is a Swedish citizen. That means he’s Swedish, and his heritage is Bosnian and Croatian.