Food

1. You don't even think twice about bringing hot coffee to the beach.
2. You know that there must be some sort of difference between “Plopp” and “Center”, since they´re both made by Cloetta, but you can´t figure out what it is.
3. You don't consider small, round fluffy things stacked over each other and served with syrup to be actual pancakes. Real pancakes are thin, taste better...are served with jam and sometimes whipped cream - just like the ones Pippi Longstocking makes.
4. You eat pancakes with jam, not lemon and sugar like the English.
5. You consider Non-Swedish cinnamon buns a failed attempt to mimmick the 'original' and become annoyed everytime you bite into one because it tastes nothing the real thing.
6. The notion of pouring the closest equivalent to “filmjölk” (buttermilk) over your cereal doesn't sound odd...in fact, you'd probably go out and get some berries/fruit to blend with the cereal.
7. You know that a sandwich consists of only one slice of bread.
8. You find the ads for Coca Cola during Christmas completely useless since no one would consider drinking any other soft drink than "julmust" during Christmas anyway.
9. You know that it is not true, but you like to believe that there is a massive difference between the taste of "julmust" and "påskmust".
10. Making the cheese look like a ski slope is a mortal offence.
11. You know the meaning of and utmost importance of a cheese slicer and it disturbs you that it’s a Norwegian invention.
12. You seriously look for Baklava made from whole grain, since "in Sweden, we don't eat white flour anymore because “Socialstyrelsen” says it's not good for you".
13. You love O’boy to pieces and know that there is no way the Nesquick powder can ever replace it.
14. You think that any type of dish including pork fillet with béarnaise sauce and meatballs with beetroot salad (a Christmas version!) makes a superb topping on a pizza...
15. You think it's ridiculous to sell milk and yogurt in anything other than Tetrapak.
16. “Tallriksmodellen" pops up in your head every time you serve food.
17. You find it morally reprehensible to not even TRY to eat from all the food groups.
18. You love “Kalles Kaviar” and get offended when Non-Swedes claim it is “only cod roe, not caviar”.
19. You could survive on just fish and prawns, and still manage to have a different dish for every meal for a month, even put it in cake.
20. You drink black espresso without sugar, believing that is what they do in Italy, and actually believe that you like it.
21. You know that the most common cars in Sweden are not Volvo's or Saab's, but “Ahlgrens Bilar”.
22. You can debate for hours the difference between the taste of the pink, the green and the white car in a pack of “Ahlgrens Bilar”.
23. You actually have a favourite colour of “Ahlgrens Bilar”, and are pretty militant in your opinion on this point.
24. You have been asked by Non-Swedes, 'You eat reindeer in Sweden don't you?' and answered in the affirmative, reinforcing their beliefs with a conversation ending - 'Yeah, the bloodier the better.'
25. You are in France and you are feeling a bit continental going to a café ordering a “café au lait” (despite the fact that the French have no clue what you are on about).
26. You call cupcakes “muffins” and argue that your way is right.
27. When someone offers you a hotdog, you are genuinely surprised to find it is not a frankfurter in a 'korvbröd' and even more surprised to find that there is no such thing as a 'korvbröd' and hotdogs are actually served in plain rolls.
28. You actually miss “Knäckebröd” when you are abroad but never eat it in Sweden since it's too dry.
29. You insist that Swedish chocolate is the best in the world, despite what the Belgians and the Swiss might say.
30. You are abroad and you instinctively reply "lagom" when the waiter ask how you would like your steak.
31. You get cranky if you don't get to eat "havregrynsgröt" every morning.
32. You know that there is a massive difference between “gravlax” and smoked salmon, and differences in opinion on which tastes the better has led to many arguments during family dinners.
33. You get really defensive when people think “Smörgåsbord” simply means a variety of something and can't grasp the concept of one.
34. You need to explain the concept of "Smörgåstårta" to someone, and you have to point out that “no, it's not a cake, it is food”.
35. You drink coffee a minimum four times a day.
36. You seriously consider 'kebabrulle' being a Swedish dish.
37. Gravy just doesn't cut it. “Gräddsås” is the shit!
38. You go to Australia and get really pissed off with "Miss Mauds swedish bakery" and the fact that they don't serve anything Swedish.
39. You try to get non-Swedes to like smoked salmon and pickled herring.
40. You feel that "kladdkaka" tastes better than normal chocolate cake.
41. You always get cravings for "Djungelvrål".
42. You don't understand why non-swedes find salt liquorices inedible.
43. You have a craving for at least one litre of milk a day.
44. You can name at least seven different kinds of jam, and produce four of them in your own kitchen.
45. You are abroad and “lösgodis” (pick n’mix) becomes more desirable than cigarettes.
46. You have never ever heard of either “Annas gingerbread” nor “Mrs Elswood's cod roe spread - product of Sweden” nor “Swedish glace” nor “Swedish fish” nor “Swedish Berry Candys”.
47. It annoys you that the hot chocolate powder abroad doesn’t mix with cold milk.
48. You ask a visitor from back home to to bring you “Långa Fina”-bread, “Kvibille Cheddar” and “Herrgårdsost” and all those other everyday luxuries you miss.
49. You rate the size of a town/village due to the amount of pizza places found there.
50. You find it very strange that there are not so many pizza places abroad and when you finally find one, you think it’s too expensive. Also, the pizzas are too small and you feel like as if you have been deprived of one of your natural rights since the pizza does not come with “pizzasallad” and “kebabsauce”.
51. You try over and over again to explain to a Non-Swede what a "semla" is.
52. You find it hard to understand the breakfast culture in other parts of Europe - it has to be porridge/fil&flingor, wholegrain bread & coffee/O’boy to be ok.
53. You put salt and not sugar on your popcorn (and think people who eat sugary popcorn are totally wierd).
54. You die a little inside if you don't get your weekly ration of "Mamma Scans Köttbullar".
55. You love "Blodpudding" and love the disgusted faces of your non-Swedish friends when you explain what it is.
56. You make sure you go back to Sweden regularly or ask anybody you know going there to get “välling” for your child since there is nothing that can replace “Sempers Fullkornsvälling”.
57. You don't realize that putting ketchup on pasta dishes isn't received well by Non-Swedes, especially Italians who normally get mortally offended by this practice.
58. You consider baking a social activity.
59. You actually like “Tyrkisk Peppar” despite most of the rest of the world thinking it tastes disgusting and you refuse to believe it’s Danish.
60. It confuses you that McDonald’s abroad doesn’t have béarnaise sauce.
61. You claim Swedish strawberries are superior to all others, but really can’t tell the difference.
62. The best cake is "Princess Tårta" and you know that any other cake is rubbish.
63. You get confused when Non-Swedes talk about ”swedish Krisprolls” when they really mean ”skorpor”.
64. You claim”Köttbullar” is a unique Swedish dish and that you can´t have it elsewere (ignoring meat balls, from Northen Africa/Italy/Greece etc. etc.).
65. You can eat anything as long as it's served with lingonberry jam.
66. The first thing you have to do when you get home (to Sweden) is ordering meatballs, mashed potatoes and lingonberry jam at Sibylla.
67. You say “Huh?” when you hear about KFC and admits to never eaten at Kentucky Fried Chicken or even seen one.
68. You go all misty-eyed and dreamy-looking when someone mentions "Lakritspuck"
69. You can’t understand why people scream when you mix cereals and yoghurt.
70. You really don’t get how anyone can eat peanut butter with jam on their toast
71. You find it completely normal for supermarkets to have a whole aisle dedicated to the staple diet "KORV" (sausage).
72. You eat every meal with a knife and fork.
73. You are living abroad and you are slightly lost because there are a number of dishes in your repertoire you can't make anymore, because you can’t get hold of “falukorv”.
74. You happen to come across a Swedish food product in your local supermarket and just HAVE to buy it because it's food from back home.
75. You think a bag of crisps that contains less than 200 g is tiny, and you can’t understand why people don't get the concept of dill crisps.
76. You scream 'pata lul' while having macaroni and cheese with macaroni in the shape of wheels.
77. The food is ready to be served exactly on the minute you told your friends to come for dinner - if they are a little late, the potatoes have gone all cold!
78. You have ketchup on boiled eggs.
79. You think that singled packed slices of cheese are a stupid waste of resources.
80. You really suffer by only being able to eat white bread when going abroad.
81. You don't consider micro oven as a substitute for a "real oven".
82. You consider "falukorv" as quality meat, and that it can be used instead of any other kind of meat when cooking.
83. When you have lived abroad for a while and a single “Ahlgrens Bil” is enough to put you in a state of silly-eyed, open-mouthed bliss for at least 15 minutes.
84. In addition to the previous point, you consider liquorice salted beyond what's permissible by the laws of physics the equivalent of a class A narcotic—again, capable of sending you head first into a state of stupefied bliss for at least 15 minutes.
85. You go to the supermarket abroad to buy "julskinka" and when they don't have the right cut of meat, salted to perfection; not only you, but also the butcher get a nervous breakdown, since he has no clue what you are on about (even after you have shown your meat cut chart form your old home economics book from school).
86. Nobody knows what "Kassler" is. And you don't understand why they don't have it...it is after all the most versatile food there is.
87. You get upset by the fact that a free second cup isn't included in the price, when ordering coffee abroad.
88. You, if denied a free second cup at a café inside Sweden, are seriously thinking of reporting the owner of the café to "Konsumentombudsmannen".
89. You know that there is no way there is any correlation between Swedish and American cheescake.
90. You consider "Surströmming" to be proper food, not toxic waste.
91. You eat ice-cream in the winter.
92. You've never seen a Starbucks and find it terribly “exotic”.


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